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Is your Marraige Thriving, Surviving, or Diving

3/22/2015

There are two books I recommend picking up:

The 4 Seasons of Marriage - Secrets to a Lasting Marriage by Gary Chapman
Marriage: From Surviving to Thriving by Charles Swindol

I am working on a list of practical activities that will help married couples move their relationship towards a thriving summer. I will post this list later.
Many couples find complacency in Fall and Spring. They are just surviving in their marriage. Everything is about a day-to-day routine, equal performance and responsibilities, priorities seldom include regularly scheduled marriage maintenance activities. Kids sometimes supersede the marriage as well as work or even church ministries.

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Relationships: Unequally vs Equally Yoked

3/12/2015

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A common phrase we hear when addressing reasons for not entering a relationship or for difficulties within relationships is "Unequally Yoked." 2 Corinthians 6:14 is often used to support this phrase. It is interpreted to mean that Christians should not enter into a relationships with unbelievers as their decision to not believe could hinder or destroy their witness. I believe that God created marriage for a man and woman. It is a covenant between the three. I believe marriage belongs to God, thus Christians should choose to marry Christians to be in the will and purpose God design for marriage.

Now, the purpose of this article is not to debate the interpretation but to provide additional insight for currently married couples. A lot of times Christians do not marry Christians, and a lot of times non-Christians marry each other. Can these unions please God? Can these unions be purposeful and give God glory?

If the couples are willing to accept Christ as head of their life and relationship, then the marriage can begin to move towards pleasing God.

Look at the graphics below. There are two triangles. One is an equilateral triangle and the other is an obtuse triangle. Obtuse triangles are know for have a large angle over 90 degrees with an opposite long side. One adjacent angle and side is noticeably smaller. In the graphic, you see a male and female having to travel different distances to get to God and to reach oneness. There is no Christ in the relationship thus making it impossible to reach God and become one. On the equilateral triangle, all sides and angles are equal. Thus, there is an equal distance between the man and woman and God. Christ is also in the enter, which makes it possible to move towards God and oneness.

When comparing Triangle A and B, notice that the male and female in Triangle A do not have Christ in their marriage so when they try to climb up from the valley through life's challenges, they struggle. In Triangle B, the coupe has Christ at the center of their relationship so as this couple moves closer to God, they also get closer to each other. This was God's design, a Christ-centered marriage where the husband and wife work to have a stronger independent relationship with Christ so their marriage can be center on Christ, so they can become one flesh. Marriage is a continuous process of becoming one. Marriages without Christ can not please God nor successful become one in covenant with Him.

Though some marriages begin unequally yoked, if Christ is introduced, both parties through Christ can come closer together in marriage and to God (Triangle C). Each spouse being saved, a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, makes for an equally yoked relationship. Notice the unequal distances that must be traveled. Sometimes our spouse may have to experience more and do more to get to the same place you are.
It is also important to note that one spouse being saved can bring Christ into the relationship. It can be enough to get the other spouse saved.

In addition, as you can see in Triangle D that even equally yoked relationships can still be at different places in the marriage and distances from God if there isn't consistent time spent nurturing the relationship with Christ.
Some Christians become content with their position on the path towards a Christ-like marriage. Men leaving their wives, or wives leaving their husbands behind as they draw near. this can cause discontent and isolation. More importantly, it doesn't please God. The two must become one and move as one. It is doesn't work living singled in your marriage. It doesn't work if you attend church sometimes while your wife/husband attends all the time.

Remember, marriage was designed to please God, to multiply believers that would do His will, to mirror the relationship between Christ and His people, the church.

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Is your Marraige Thriving, Surviving, or Diving

Relationships: Unequally vs Equally Yoked

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